We will get there
Let me tell you a story.
A number of years ago I worked for a county-level organization that aimed to reduce stigma around mental illness. Such an organization, underfunded it was, had universal application- any gathering of people will have personal or familial experience with mental health.
Society throws up razor wire to keep us from one another. If we reach out it will be of great pain, but to feel the pulse of our fellow traveler reminds us that we are still alive.
It was a speaker's bureau, usually four presenters. We talked at crisis lines, graduate psychology programs, and most importantly, high schools. Sometimes a class, though once I had to try to give a relevant spiel to 150 students in a lunchroom with awful acoustics. Do you know when life replicates your nightmares as a special treat?
It was the most important work I have ever done, in a lifetime often defined by bipolar disorder and a motor function disability. There has been no other time I felt both very proficient at what I was doing, and what I was doing was making a small part of the world a better, kinder place.
There was one important lesson I got out of this. People often do not know that their experiences are shared, common. Each day in agony is totally unique, and it makes us broken, worthless, and incapable of love.
One morning after an event, the director of the program emailed me. The previous evening I had given a presentation where I leaned heavily on a general, psychiatric description of bipolar disorder. I was trying to be informative: the wider public needs to know some basic facts! I should do that!
Would I be able to talk about the one thing I am the world's leading expert on?
Could I speak from the heart, and not the brain?
People I have known have said I am distant, indirect, even cold. I have feelings, very deep, aching feelings. I care about things, I believe in things. Most people don't get to see the brushstrokes on my heart.
The path is not the same, and we walk, roll, jog, and crawl along it at our own pace and to our own ability. We will get there when we get there.
We will get there.
Artemis