The wind but for the sails

Let me tell you a story.

In middle school math, there was a system. There was a prompt. Then there was a box to the right of it. You worked through the problem, and then when you reached a solution some way down the page, you copied that into the box. In the three decades of work, the teacher had two students where even with four years to work with, they could not get them to put the solution in the box.

The first was my older sibling. The second, four years later, was me. We independently came to the conclusion that you circle the solution at the bottom.

We would not fit into a box. How heavy handed this would be were it not absolutely, one million percent true.

At the bedrock level, two decades later, this remains how I operate on a daily basis. I believe that if people talk to me, ask something of me, they are both to some degree being sincere, and feel it is important to do this. Taking those two points, I expect people to be able to justify why that in particular is necessary. Can't justify why putting the answer in the box is better than circling it? I am not going to accommodate.

Important things should have reasons. Things should matter, even in very marginal ways. If one things is to be done rather than another, why do we care? Anhedonia and neurodiversity means I in many cases have very little preference for things people care a lot about.

I do care about why people care. The stories and memories, triumphs and tragedies that motivate people are important. If I can't feel their joy like I can feel the void that yawns and calls to them, maybe I can understand it.

Is that enough? No, but it's the best I can do.

Artemis